Within the last hour, I have been a busy woman. I’ve washed a load of clothes and began drying a load of towels. In just a few minutes, my laundry for the week will be complete. I’ve defrosted a fillet in the microwave to broil to perfection for tonight’s dinner. While I was preparing dinner and doing household chores, I also sent a few e-mails and exchanged text messages with a friend living on the other side of the country.

This evening has held a strong reflection of the quick pace and immediacy of our current culture. There was a time when these few tasks would have taken days to accomplish. For our ancestors, such simple chores knew a much slower pace. While these tasks might have taken more time and energy and brought inconvenience, they also held opportunities for reflection of one’s life. In the pace of this work, there was time to wait, to think, to be still. There was no expectation or demand of life rushing with a faster rhythm.

For the young people of this generation, my activities for the evening pale in comparison to the intense ways immediacy is felt in their world. For our young people, they know the consistency of engaging in multiple conversations all at once amidst texting and instant messages. In mere seconds, e-mails are sent and messages are posted on Internet sites such as MySpace and FaceBook. This is but a small domain symbolic of so many spaces in their life of instant living. Everything happens now, in this moment. Little is delayed.

Older generations remember a time when the world was different. We remember a time when patience and waiting was a larger part of our lives, when conversation took time and replies didn’t show up in seconds. There was pausing and space in conversation, and thus in relationship. For this generation, this kind of fast-paced communication and its effects are all they’ve known. Thus, among the ages, perspective and expectations are vastly different.

While the industrial and technological advances of have made our world a simpler time and place where we can accomplish a whirlwind of activities, it has also challenged our ability to be patient in other domains. While advancements have come to us in virtually every aspect of living, matters of the heart and nuances of relationship have remained at a pace in their original form — where only time will bring what the heart needs — in one’s life and in one’s relationships.

For many of our young people, great anxiety is experienced in today’s mode of communication and relationship. There is much anticipation that a text message or an e-mail will be responded to immediately. Impatience abounds. Waiting is rare, as is space for quiet reflection of one’s life or the effects of one’s words or choices. When immediacy is not achieved, coping with such waiting can be compromised.

In recent years, more and more adolescents are experiencing seasons of cutting and self-mutilation in their life. There used to be a time when beliefs were held that these kind of behaviors were known where there had been devastating abuse and trauma. While this can certainly be the case, more and more it seems adolescents are seeking such ways to cope immediately with the intensity of emotion.

Whether coping with parental conflict, family stressors or the complexities of teenage romance, our generation desires resolution to be quick and struggle to leave promptly. In an era of immediacy, the heart seems to be in search of ways to adjust. Matters of the human heart and complexities of relationship can simply not be cast into the pace that so much of our lives experience elsewhere.

As we seek to understand more and more the trends of our young people, we must devote attention to acts of cutting and mutilation of the body (as well as other ways of coping). What are young people teaching us about their ability to cope and their needs as we see this trend increasing? Amidst the complexities, what we know for sure is that these acts of injury bring internal and unseen pain to the physical body, to the physical surface. It offers a tangible image of pain, giving evidence and reason to hurt. As the body heals, there is an image of recovery, of restoration. Relief is achieved, albeit temporary. Results appear immediate.

I offer this brief sense of conversation in hopes we will continue being in dialogue as a community. It is vital we come together and find ways of enjoying the pace of our world and all it has to offer while also paying tribute and speaking overtly with our young people about ways of experiencing and responding to places of emotion in their life — teaching the art of waiting and slowing to a gentler stride.

Perhaps as you’ve read these words, you have recognized these ideas ringing true in your life or in the life of someone you love. If so, I encourage you to seek out a place where you or your loved ones can create space to be in conversation about matters of the heart. Leave the cell phone at home, pause from texting, turn off the computer. Take a break from the pace of immediacy to bring a slow and patient rhythm to the heart. While not as expedient as other places in your life, but you will fare better for such a gift.

Shannon Renae West is a licensed family therapist serving families on the Eastside. She can be reached at (425) 415-6556 or via email at ShanWest@msn.com.